
Friday, July 30, 2010, 30.7.10
I wish things would be easy. Not soo hard like it anyways is.
It was my birthday last tuesday i was surprised at how many person said happy birthday to me, including facebook. How touching.
Starting tafe soon doing a visual arts course. Feeling excited about this change...
Hopefully i do well and don't make a total fool of myself.
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Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it makes someone can get inside you and mess you up. You built all these defenses. You built up a whole suit of armor. So that nothing can hurt you. Then one stupid person. No different from any other stupid person. Wanders into your stupid life...you give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day. Like kiss you or smile at you. And then you life isn't you own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the Imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt. A real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart-pain. I hate love.
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